Blog header how to stop worrying

Do you tend to worry about things?

You are about to try something new and worry kicks in. You look at your bank statement and worry taps on your shoulder. You lose a client and worry enters the room. You read the news about all the bad things happening in the world and worry wants to take part.

The thing with worry is that it only pretends to be necessary. It dresses up like someone important. It says you should listen. That it’s important.

But think about it: What does worry create in your life and business?

Worry doesn’t solve any problems.

Worry usually leads to things like procrastination, indecision, treating yourself and others in a way than you don’t want, over-eating, over-drinking, less sleep at night…

Worry feels terrible and feeling terrible will affect both your life and business.

So how can you stop worrying?

Here are 5 tips.

1. Learn to recognize the feeling

A lot of us are not aware of our feelings and thoughts. We just know we feel bad.

When you learn to recognize how worry feels in your body, it’s easier to catch it when it happens so you can do something about it.

Vividly picture something that makes you worried. Really think about it.

Where in the body do you feel the worry?

How does it feel? (Hard, soft, heavy?)

How does it move? (Fast, slow, unpredictably?)

What color does it have?

Describe it to yourself in detail.

Next time you feel worried, ask yourself the questions again.

Learn how worry feels.

2. Understand where it comes from

Your brain might suggest the reason for your worry lies outside of yourself. That you feel it because of something that happened or is currently happening.

The thought: “I feel worried because the economy is bad right now”, might sound legitimate, but the economy is not making you feel worried. How could the economy do that?

What you think about the economy, however, is what creates the feeling of worry. What you make it mean.

Maybe one of your thoughts are: “Because of the bad economy, people won’t be able to pay for my services.”

Our thoughts create our feelings.

The challenge is, we are not trained to identify what thoughts create our feelings.

A lot of us just feel a feeling and don’t even know that there was a thought that created it. In a way, the thought is invisible or silent, but only because you are not looking or listening for it.

When you learn to pay attention, you’ll find that there’s always one or several thoughts that created the feeling.

So, when you feel worry, stop and ask yourself: What thoughts am I thinking right now?

3. Question the thought

When you’ve identified the thought(s), you’ve identified the reason to why you feel worried.

Now, it’s time to question the thought(s).

A good question to ask yourself is: Is this true? Can you be sure this is really true? Be really honest with yourself.

Let’s say the economy is bad (a more factual description would be to list the actual numbers) and your thought is: Because of the bad economy, people won’t be able to pay for my services.

Is that true? Is it really true?

Ask your brain for evidence how it’s not true.

Question your thought.

4. Kick it out

It’s ok to feel worry from time to time, but when you start indulging in worry, it becomes a problem.

It will prevent you from moving forward. It will cause unnecessary pain.

Worry is one of those feelings that will never help you. Ever.

Therefore, practice to recognize it, question it and then, kick it out.

It might be helpful to replace it with a different thought, like:

“This is worry and I won’t listen to it” or “I hear you brain, but we are going to think ________________ (fill in the blank) instead”.

Practice kicking it out.

Don’t start to argue with it. Just kick it out. Show your brain who’s the boss.

5. Practice, Practice, Practice

The process above will take practice, but what you practice you get good at. Depending on how often you are used to worry, you might have to practice “not to worry” a lot. Again, what you practice you get good at.

Think of it as going to the gym. This just happen to be your mental gym. You are working out your brain.

6. Be both ruthless and compassionate

Without practice the worry will still be there, so be ruthless with your practice, but also remember to be compassionate with yourself.

Nothing has gone wrong if the worry keeps popping up. Your brain is just doing its job trying to protect you. Remember, worry pretends to be important and our brain is constantly looking for possible threats and pains to try and keep you safe.

Beating yourself up for still feeling worry is not going to help. Instead be curious about why it keeps popping up and go through the steps above again.

Be nice to yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat your friend.

Want help to kick out your worry to become more at peace and productive in your life and business? Send me an email and we’ll jump on the phone for a free mini coaching session: helen@porlaandpine.com

 

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