Do you think it shouldn’t be this hard?
Running your business, work life balance, dealing with relationships, taking care of your health…
Are you sure?
Who said it shouldn’t be this hard?
Life is 50/50. We experience positive feelings and negative feelings.
A friend once told me a story her grandmother had shared with her when she was younger. It was about a woman wearing a beautiful pearl necklace. Placed between the silky white pearls was one black bead. When asked why she had a black bead in her lovely necklace her answer was: “Because the black beads make the white pearls appear even more beautiful.”
As humans we need contrast. Contrast makes for a fuller life.
The thought: “It shouldn’t be this hard” doesn’t help you.
Feeling negative feelings can be uncomfortable. Sometimes dreadful.
But when you learn to allow them instead of pushing them away, your life will get easier.
Pushing away negative feelings is like holding a beach ball under water. Eventually, you’ll wear out and the beach ball will fly back up through the water.
Resisting negative feelings will make them stay longer and they will probably grow stronger.
You might be tempted to cover them up with comfort food, shopping, alcohol, smoking pot (yes, I live in California) or mindless shows.
Covering them up will feel good in the moment, but then…you’ll feel ever worse.
If you keep covering them up, eventually, you might become numb to all feelings. The positive ones too. Because we can’t just pick and choose what feelings we want to feel.
So how about trying to allow the negative ones? They can’t hurt you.
What if hard is good? Hard, but good.
What if hard will provide you with great lessons, make you grow stronger and help you create a fuller life.
If your brain is resisting this idea, maybe it’s open to the thought: This is hard and that’s ok.